Honey and Leonard Read online

  Leonard was still humming "Ain't She Sweet" as they took their large, leather seats in first class. They buckled up just in time for the flight attendant to bring them each a tall, thin glass of champagne. The rest of the passengers shuffled to their cheap seats in the rear.

  Leonard looked puzzled as Honey clinked his glass in a toast. "What's with all this?" he said, turning around to watch the flight attendant drawing the curtains on the economy class. "Why's she closing the curtains? Look back there. Those people don't have big seats like we do. I'll bet they're not getting champagne either. What's going on, Honey? What did we do to deserve all this?"

  "Every age has its compensations," Honey said. "People take care of us because we're old and in love. Why do you think Boy Scouts help little old ladies across the road?"

  "I don't feel old. The last time some kid tried to help me at the store I told him to get lost."

  "Boy Scouts," Honey continued, "help old people so they can feel good about themselves and do their duty and earn merit badges."

  "And so they can look good doing it," Leonard groused. "But what I'm talking about is this class thing. I don't know what happened to the America I grew up in where everybody was supposed to be equal."

  "I know, I know," Honey said. "People with money get all the breaks. But you worked hard all your life to become wealthy and now you're quite generous."

  "Yeah, I inherited the family farm and invested heavily in a little company called I.B.M. You wouldn't believe what that stock has done since the 1960's."

  "Oh, yes, I would," Honey said.

  "Well, we never had much when my brother and I were growing up. Now that I've got money, I don't really feel that much different. It doesn't feel right that some people get champagne and some don't."

  The 747's engines began to roar as the plane started being towed backwards. Leonard had the window seat. He pressed his face against the glass. "Honey," he said, "we're going backwards and this thing doesn't have any wings. Look, I mean it. This thing has no wings."

  "Don't be silly, Sweetie. They're towing us backwards. Look behind us, you'll see the wings. We're too far in the front of the plane to see them unless you look way back. Look way back. Do you see them?"

  "Oh, yeah, I see them now, but this thing still doesn't look like it should be able to fly."

  Honey could feel Leonard tensing up so she tried to distract him. "Now, where is that lovely Jennifer? Excuse me miss," she said to the flight attendant with the champagne. "Where is Jennifer?"

  "You mean our Jennifer, the flight attendant?"

  Honey shook her head. "Yes, she helped us with our boarding passes."

  "She's in the rear of the aircraft. Would you like me to get her for you?"

  "No, that won't be necessary right now," Honey said. She turned to Leonard, "See, sweetie, Jennifer's on the plane. She knows everything will be fine, so don't you worry."

  Leonard put on a brave face as the plane taxied into takeoff position and waited. A bell rang. Then two more bells chimed. The engines whined to a fever pitch, and the plane began shaking as it turned onto the runway and stopped again.

  "I suppose they're waiting for clearance to take off," Leonard said.

  "Oh, my, you do know a lot for a first time flier."

  After much too long a wait for any nervous flyer's comfort, the plane started rolling forward and began picking up speed. Honey grabbed Leonard's hand and they both squeezed tightly as the plane lifted off and began gaining altitude at a steep angle. Honey made no comment but she could see Leonard was holding his breath. He had his eyes mostly closed except for the occasional sideways glance out the window.

  Once the plane began to level and Leonard had opened his eyes, Honey said, "See how easy? Isn't this the best?"

  Leonard relaxed his grip and let out a sigh of relief. Honey thought, for sure, he was going to begin complaining about something to cover up the emotions he had just experienced. Instead he said, "You know why it's better to die in a plane crash than in a nursing home?"

  Honey laughed, glad to see he was in good humor. The flight attendants and several passengers had heard the set up and were waiting for the punch line. Honey was only too happy to play straight man, "No, why is it better to die in a plane crash than in a nursing home?"

  "You only crap your pants once in a plane crash."

  Four

  THE EXHILARATION of his first flight, combined with several glasses of champagne, put Leonard in a story-telling mood. Honey loved his stories. They always made her feel like a little girl, especially the ones about the old days. She and Leonard had completely forgotten about being fugitives. Yet, at that very moment, their absence was being duly noted. It had taken the nursing home until 10 a.m. to finally call the police. They had learned the hard way to search the premises and grounds quite thoroughly before calling in an "escape." The Wabash County police had launched several costly manhunts in recent years only to locate missing persons in on-site closets or trash containers.

  Once Prosecutor Lindvall heard the report of Leonard's absence, she drove directly to Honey's home to investigate. She knew she didn't need a search warrant. Honey would invite her inside.

  The front door was locked, but no one answered the bell or her persistent knocking. Now she might need a warrant. Or, she could say she was worried about Honey being injured inside and unable to answer the door.

  The back door was open. "Anybody home?" she called out as she entered cautiously. Nobody answered, even after she repeated the question more loudly.

  The house was neat and tidy but unoccupied. It smelled like an apple pie had recently been baked. The prosecutor began looking for clues. It didn't take long before she had solved the mystery. In the upstairs bathroom, she found Leonard's wet pajamas hanging on a hook outside the shower. She laughed out loud as she thought about Honey and Leonard playing in the shower. "Good for them," she thought as she went down the stairs and through the kitchen to check the garage.

  Once she realized the Cadillac was gone, the prosecutor used Honey's kitchen phone to call the sheriff.

  Much as she loved Honey and the thought of her romance with Leonard, the prosecutor had a job to do, and right now that job was to find Honey and Leonard. She didn't think to notify the airports. She was fairly certain the two lovebirds would be found cruising the country roads around Leonard's farmland. He owned hundreds of acres although he no longer farmed the land himself.

  Maria Gomez from Adult Protective heard the news nearly as quickly as the prosecutor. She was in the sheriff's office with Leonard's niece, Gretchen Atkins, by noon. The two were complaining loudly to the receptionist that not enough was being done to locate Leonard. Sheriff Donald Peterson decided it was time to come out of his office.

  "What can I do for you ladies?" the sheriff asked.

  "For starters," Gretchen said, "you can find my uncle. He's off with that Honey Waldrop. She's kidnapped him for sure."

  "What makes you say that?"

  "We heard the prosecutor checked Honey's house and her Cadillac's gone," Ms. Gomez said.

  "Where'd you hear that?"

  "It's all over your radios," Gretchen said.

  "Maybe she went grocery shopping," the sheriff reasoned.

  "The only shopping Honey does is for rich old fools who don't know a gold digger when they see one coming," Gretchen said.

  "I'd be careful calling Leonard Atkins an old fool," the sheriff said. "He's been a friend of mine for more than forty years and he's not that much older than me."

  "That doesn't change the fact that you got a missing person report on him from the nursing home more than two hours ago," Ms. Gomez said.

  "She tried to poison my uncle," Gretchen said. "And she's run off with him in violation of a court order."

  "Who says they're together?" the sheriff asked.

  "Anybody with half a brain!" Ms. Gomez shouted.

  With that, the Sheriff stiffened and escorted the two women out of his office, advising th
em what would happen if they continued to insult his intelligence. "We'll do everything we can do to locate Leonard," he said.

  As they were leaving the building, Gretchen said loudly enough for the sheriff to hear, "Looks like we'll have to track them down on our own."

  The sheriff shook his head and walked back into his office without further comment.

  Gretchen had plenty of resources to organize a search. As Leonard's Power of Attorney, she had access to his entire fortune.

  Once Gretchen and Ms. Gomez were gone, the sheriff called in reports from his officers. Nobody had located Leonard or Honey, but one deputy had learned that an elderly couple had been detained briefly in the middle of the night, heading south on the Interstate.

  "That's it," the sheriff pounded his desk. "They're headed for the airport in Indy. Better notify the Federal Aviation Administration and Airport Security," he said to his chief deputy.

  "You got to love Leonard. I'd have thought he was too old for this kind of tomfoolery. I guess he's proving me wrong. He was always a straight shooter but he never did give a hoot about the law.

  "By the way," the sheriff said to the chief deputy, "wait a couple hours before you call the airplane people. No harm in giving Leonard a little head start."

  * * *

  Meanwhile, Leonard was telling stories at 30,000 feet, halfway to New York City and a flight connection to Paris, France.

  "When I was a boy, working the farm with my daddy, we had to deal with what they now call the Great Depression. We didn't call it that, at first. Nobody knew how bad it was going to be or how long it would last. I remember asking my father about the stock market and what it was that made it crash. We were baling hay at the time. He stopped our Farmall tractor right there in the middle of the field. I knew it was important. He sat down and talked to me like I was a man. I couldn't have been more than fourteen years old, but he talked to me like a man. And, for the first time, I saw fear in his eyes. I'd never seen daddy afraid before, but this time I could feel it in my bones. Especially when he talked about how we could lose the farm if the bank in North Manchester failed. That's the first time I knew that even a farmer needed a bank to get along.

  "Anyway, I didn't understand much of what he tried to explain, but in the next couple years things got real tough all over. Our house was less than a quarter mile from the railroad tracks that went to Chicago. Lots of guys riding the rails in those days, and it didn't take long for word to get around that my mother would feed anybody who came to her back door and asked for food. Daddy never let them make camp on our land but he didn't stand in the way when momma fed them. Some days she'd feed more than a dozen men, and not just scraps. She fed them steak and eggs and biscuits with gravy and gave them big glasses of fresh milk. Even let them get water and clean up at the well behind the cow barn.

  "We never got robbed, not once. Those guys were all decent men, looking for work. Daddy hired a few of them for short-term work."

  "What about your mother?" Honey asked. "What did she say about her free kitchen?"

  "My mother was a generous soul. She taught my brother, Daniel, and me what she called the secret to a happy life."

  "You mean the secret to happiness?" Honey asked, loud enough for most of the first class section to hear.

  "That's right, the secret to happiness," Leonard said, making her wait for it.

  "Well, come on. I'm sure we'd all like to know."

  "You already know it," Leonard teased.

  Jennifer, the flight attendant, came up from the back of the plane, "What's this I hear about the secret to happiness?"

  "Leonard was just about to tell us," Honey said, hugging her. "I'm glad you're here to hear it."

  Leonard grinned and leaned back in his chair to say, "Now, I forget what we were talking about."

  "Don't you do that to us," Honey laughed, pushing his shoulder.

  "All right," he said. "Here it is, the secret to happiness. Are you sure you're ready?"

  "Yes, we're more than ready."

  "Okay then, here it is. The secret to happiness is to help other people."

  Honey beamed at Jennifer, who passed on the smile to several other passengers who had tuned in to the Leonard show.

  "I think that is absolutely correct," Jennifer said. "It is that simple. I always feel best about myself when I'm helping someone else."

  "Then you should feel pretty good about yourself," Leonard said, "for all the help you and your friend gave us today."

  "You've been an angel," Honey agreed.

  * * *

  After landing in New York City, Jennifer helped Honey and Leonard make their way to the next boarding gate. They were almost too late for the flight to Paris so they boarded immediately. Leonard was looking around to see if any law enforcement agents were around to apprehend them.

  "I can't believe we're getting away with this trip to Paris," he said. "I thought they'd have us by Indianapolis. We haven't been covering our trail at all. We bought the tickets in our real names."

  "What's the worst they could do to us if they did catch us?" Honey asked.

  "They could keep us apart."

  "Oh, dear. Then we'd better keep moving," Honey said.

  Their plane from New York to Paris had leveled off over the Atlantic Ocean before the Wabash County Sheriff's Department called the F.A.A. Maria Gomez used her adult protective credentials to convince the Federal Bureau of Investigation that an elderly man had been kidnapped and was in mortal danger. It didn't take the F.B.I. long to discover Honey and Leonard's flight plan. They tried to make arrangements to have officers lie in wait in Paris, but French officials were less than enthusiastic about becoming involved in the case. The French never did like Americans telling them what to do. And an elder couple flying to Paris didn't seem like much of a threat to national security.

  Honey and Leonard had no trouble sleeping through most of the flight to Paris. Being up all night and topping that off with several glasses of champagne put them out like a light. Honey slept with her head on Leonard's shoulder. He rested his head on top of hers. The flight attendant threw one blanket over the two of them.

  Once they landed in Paris, Jennifer helped them through customs and got them a cab, saying to the driver, "Hotel Frontenac, please."

  "You've got a reservation for two nights," she said to Honey as they hugged goodbye. "And you've got my number at the airline. They can always track me down. I'm off to Singapore so I won't be seeing you for a while. I'll look you up next time I'm in Indianapolis. Goodbye, Leonard, take good care of our girl. Have a wonderful time in Paris."

  Less than an hour after saying goodbye to Honey and Leonard, Jennifer found herself being interrogated by airline security. She told them she had never met a more delightful couple. She also said Leonard seemed in compete control of his mental faculties and that Honey was in no way exerting control over him.

  "Am I in trouble for helping them?" she asked.

  "Not as long as you didn't know they were on the run."

  * * *

  The cab driver took off in a hurry. Honey hugged Leonard and said, "Can you believe it? Here we are in France with our own French driver, heading into Paris. It's a dream come true. Our dream is coming true."

  "You are my dream come true," Leonard said as he kissed her tenderly. "I never met a woman who could make things happen as fast as you. I don't know how you came up with those airplane girls. I don't know what we would have done without them."

  "Somebody else would have come along. Don't you see, sweetie? We've got love on our side."

  Leonard caught the driver checking them out in the rearview mirror, so he said, "Hey, there. Thanks for the lift. Do you speak English?"

  "A little bit," the driver said.

  "That's all we need," Leonard said. "We're looking for the Eiffel Tower."

  "Yes, yes, I take you there," the driver said. "Is near hotel."

  It didn't take long before Honey and Leonard were surrounded by the magic o
f Paris. By the time the Eiffel Tower came into view, Honey was bouncing on the seat like a little girl.

  "There it is. Oh, my stars, there it is. It looks like a postcard. I feel like I'm floating into a postcard. The Eiffel Tower looks even prettier than the pictures. It's taller than I thought it would be. And look at all the buildings. They look like fancy birthday cakes. And the cafés with the awnings. Everything looks so French. Oh, my, we'd better get to the hotel fast. I'm so excited I'm going to wet my pants."

  The driver must have thought she was serious because he got them to the hotel in a hurry. Honey paid him in French currency and tipped him handsomely. Jennifer had helped her exchange quite a bit of money in the airport.

  They checked into the hotel, found their room and fell into bed with their clothes on for an exhausted nap.

  * * *

  Leonard awakened in a golden room. He sat on the edge of the bed and wondered where he was. The sun was streaming through a tall window, making the flocked wallpaper glow. He thought he might be dead. Everything was so peaceful and full of light. It felt like he might be in heaven.

  He didn't notice Honey still sleeping in the bed. The window had captured his attention. It seemed outlined in shining silver, its see-through curtains flowing in a slight breeze as if beckoning him to the window with the outstretched arms of angels.

  Suddenly, and for no good reason, he was afraid of the window. Its allure became menacing and it began to feel like a trap. He began to feel cold.

  Where am I? What has happened to me?

  He checked his arms and legs to make sure he still had a body and got up slowly to move away from the window. He heard his mother calling him from far away.